Editorial Review:Product Description:Based on the author's extensive training and experience in working with abuse survivors, The Survivor's Guide to Sex offers an affirming, sex-positive approach to recovery from incest and rape. While most books on the topic broach sexuality only to reassure women that it is alright to say 'no' to unwanted sex, this one encourages women to learn how to say 'yes' to their own desires and on their own terms.
Points of discussion include problems common to women survivors. Haines teaches survivors to embrace their own sexual choices and preferences, learn about their own sexual response cycles, and heal through masturbation, sexual fantasy, and play. The Survivor's Guide to Sex includes resources, bibliography, and an index.
Amazon.com Review:Sex-positive and daring,
The Survivor's Guide to Sex will support any woman's pursuit of pleasure and confidence. In fact, its cheery outlook may startle those who have been addressing these issues in guarded terms with a therapist, or who haven't put their fears and desires into words. Haines ably discusses common negative reactions among survivors, such as withdrawal and dissociation, and suggests ways to move on. Her chapters on 'Sexual Response and Anatomy' and 'Masturbation and Self-Healing' may come as a revelation to women who have repressed their sexual feelings, and partners, too, will find much of interest. Some survivors of abuse may not be ready, perhaps, for the advanced course in radical sex that Haines eventually launches into, but it is still good to learn that 'a suede whip will give more of a thud that spreads sensation at first; it will give more sting as it collects body oils.'
--Regina Marler
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Customer Reviews
Average Rating:
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Good Introduction, Not Advanced
If you are a survivor of sexual abuse, primarily as a child, and you have not read other books on the subject, this can be a good first book. It introduces you to the concepts of alternative sexuality as normal, lays out guidelines to help you determine what is healthy sex for you, and offers some basic information about sex and sexuality. However if you have read other books or gone through a few years of therapy I don't think this book has much uniqueness to offer. If you are looking a solution, no book can offer you that, only lots of work and time can help things but there is no magic solution. Unfair? Completely since something that took a predator only minutes to do can take you years to recover from but then life isn't fair.
Rating: 
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Thoroughly Unhelpful
I purchased this book in the hope that it might encourage me to become more comfortable as a sexual being. It has, instead, only served to INCREASE my shame and avoidance of all things sexual. Ms. Haines' solutions are simplistic, her logic flawed. While I do admire her for striving to include people of all sexualities, including GLBTQ persons, polyamorous relationships, and those who practice S/M lifestyles, as those elements are rarely touched on in sexual healing materials, it is thoroughly insulting to suggest that people who do not wish to incorporate such elements into their sex lives are in some way "less than" those who do. Am I any less deserving of healing than someone with a broader range of sexual interests? Logic dictates not. Ms. Haines unequivocally says yes.
I feel worse about myself and my circumstances having read this book than I did before buying it. If a sexual trauma survivor is already well on the road to healing his/her sexual self, has a decent idea of his/her sexual needs and desires, and believes that they correspond with the aforementioned foci of this body of work, this book may well be beneficial in making those needs and desires realities. For anyone taking their first tentative and terrifying steps into reclaiming themselves, I would avoid this book like the plague.
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Don't hold your breath!
Don't believe the "Usually ships within 10-12 days". I ordered my copy last May, and am still waiting for it in September. Periodically, I receive e-mails to tell me that the delivery date has been delayed by a few weeks. I wonder if I will ever receive it.
Rating: 
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Great book, BUT.... NOT for devout Christians
First of all, why do I say this book is not for devout Christians? Well, Ms. Haines does not hide that she is a former manager at Good Vibrations, a VERY sex positive adult store in San Francisco. She is very blunt in her discussion of the sex act (she uses the 'f' word often). And is not disdainful of alternative sexual lifestyles (BDSM, polyamory, GLBT), but seems to rather encourage them. Her opinion seems to be that to recover your sexuality, you must be TRUE to your sexuality, whether that means you are gay, kink, or trans, then so be it, but OWN it. I, personally, found this to be refreshing, and helpful, however, many devout Christians will find this offensive and disgusting.
Her chapters are nicely laid out, and the exercises at the end of each chapter are well thought out, and truly make you think about your own sexuality.
Her tone is upbeat, and she notes that you should pause occasionally to check in with yourself to make sure that you are ok, and ready to continue.
All in all, I love this book, and can see myself reading and re-reading it many times.
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A MUST!
I am a survivor of Childhood molestation from birth to 14 by 3 different men. Then when I was 16 I was gang raped by 3 other men. Needless to say I hated sex, even the word made me sick. After 4 years of marriage to my wonderful husband I needed to do something to aid in my recovery. I read this book, followed the exersises and now I actually WANT SEX, ENJOY SEX,and am healing a much distressed relationship I had with my husband. And I say with all my heart, if you are ready to take that step, make the effort, THIS BOOK WILL HELP YOU! If you arnt ready than you can still try it and see if it makes you want to be ready. Trust me it is worth the money and the effort!