Editorial Review:Product Description:'No one book resolves a lifetime of hurts and misunderstandings, but it can remove the blinders from our eyes. Make an effort now.'
LOS ANGELES TIMES
No matter how old you are and whether or not your parents are alive, you have to come to terms with them. This wise and practical book will show you how to deal with the most fundamental relationships in your life and, in the process, become the happy, creative, and fulfilled person you are meant to be.
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Customer Reviews
Average Rating:
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Relationships made easy!
Honest, well-written guide to helping you get "unstuck" in the most challenging relationship of all--you and your older parents.
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Just what the doctor ordered!
This book has saved me a lot of time in therapy. The author's experience in helping clients work though many of the same issues that I'm faced with. His format worked great - summary real-life example, what's the issue, what did he advise (maybe some exercises if it's "easier said than done"), and what was the result. It's given me a whole new set of tools for recognizing what is going on between the words with my mom and I, how I CHOOSE to deal with situations, and take responsibility for building a new relationship.
You'd think that the advice would be dated by now, but it is wonderful. It was a much more helpful than the more "modern" book that I also ordered.
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Great Read
I highly recommend this book. At first I worried that it would be out of date since it was written a while back. To the contrary, it is ageless. It goes to the core of the subject--making peace with your parents--and teachers you how to do it. This will give you great inner peace.
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The Greatest Gift That You Give Yourself
In the 80's, while browsing the bookstore, someone had recommended this book to me. And I reacted with, "No. I don't think so."
Internally, my reaction was, "But you don't understand where I come from. Nobody has experienced anything like this."
This internal reaction kept me unconsciously (psychically, if you will) beating up my parents and myself. It was an agreement with myself. Or, more appropriately, I nourished and preserved an excuse for my not reaching my potential.
I read this book in 1998. This was nine years after I had made a commitment to myself to endlessly grow.
Some other books that helped me were, "My Mother Myself," to understand my relationship with my mother. And, John Bradshaw's, "Family Secrets," to understand to unspoken truths.
Five years later, as I look at my life now, I am glad that I have made peace with my parents (They did the best that they knew how; and I love for that).
Recently someone whom I've known since 1976, but had lost contact with, said to me, "Wow. I'm glad I have a great family who is always here for me."
This was a wake up call for me, because I truly responded internally with, "Wow! I am glad that I had the experiences that I had. I am also glad that I have made a commitment to use each of those experiences to enhance my self-image. Without my parents, I wouldn't be all that I love about myself."
So, for those of you who fear reading a book that guides you to take responsibility for your life, congratulate yourself for recognizing your fear. That can be the beginning of your choosing to be the best you possible - and loving that.
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Life-changing!
I read a previous edition of this book 16 years ago and I am still reaping the benefits. At first, I hesitated to purchase the book because I didn't feel ready for peace. It turned out the book was really about working with the irritation with my parents I had built up over the years. Doing all the exercises in this book was one of the best things I've ever done for myself. Afterwards I felt stronger and more at peace and it was so much easier for me to have enjoyable conversations with my mother without feeling annoyed. It wasn't like I had to have any confrontation with her about anything either. I just felt better around her and it made our relationship so much better.
Don't just read the book. You have to take time to seriously DO all the exercises. I don't think just reading the book would accomplish much.