|
|
|
Desert Heat
: :Versatility, thy name is Van Damme! So Arnold cries in End of Days? Hah! In this relentless revenge actioner, Jean-Claude not only cries, but has a drunk scene, suffers suicidal despair, does a little slapstick, and still manages to flash his ubiquitous butt. Which, of course, is what his legion of fans want to see him kick plenty of (other people's butts, that is; not his own). Van Damme may no longer generate any box-office heat (like 1998's Legionnaire, this bypassed theaters to go straight to video), but he at least ...
|
|
|
Poison Ivy - The New Seduction (Unrated Edition)
: :Joel Silver (48 Hours, Die Hard, The Matrix) has a theory about action movies--you need a good bang-up scene about every 10 minutes. The people who made The New Seduction operate on the same principle, only instead of car chases and explosions, the curvaceous Jaime Pressly takes her clothes off and then, more likely than not, has sex with someone. If Seduction had been made 60 years ago at Warner Brothers, nobody would have gotten naked, but otherwise this gleefully trashy bit of film noir would have fit right in. The ...
|
|
|
100 Girls
:Description:When a blackout knocks out an elevator in a college girl's dorm, Matthew and a mystery girl connect carnally and emotionally. But he's left in the dark as to her true identity. He's got 100 suspects, and a slew of hilarious schemes to worm his way into the hearts and panty drawers of each and every one of them! :Self-described 'tragically glib' college freshman Jonathan Tucker finds true love in a girls' dorm elevator during a blackout, but when he forgets to get her name he has 100 suspects to sift ...
|
|
|
Ringmaster
: :Shock-talk TV host Jerry Springer makes his feature-film debut in Ringmaster and is, unfortunately, the least interesting aspect of this ragtag comedy that purports to be a behind-the-scenes look at the kind of people who regularly appear on his show. To be fair, Springer doesn't have much to do except play the often-befuddled moderator. The only time he breaks loose is to defend his guests' right to air their dirty laundry on national television. But most of the juicy lines and situations are assigned to the competent cast of trailer-park denizens ...
|
|
|
Not Another Teen Movie
: :Shock-talk TV host Jerry Springer makes his feature-film debut in Ringmaster and is, unfortunately, the least interesting aspect of this ragtag comedy that purports to be a behind-the-scenes look at the kind of people who regularly appear on his show. To be fair, Springer doesn't have much to do except play the often-befuddled moderator. The only time he breaks loose is to defend his guests' right to air their dirty laundry on national television. But most of the juicy lines and situations are assigned to the competent cast of trailer-park denizens ...
|
|
|
Poison Ivy: The New Seduction
: :Joel Silver (48 Hours, Die Hard, The Matrix) has a theory about action movies--you need a good bang-up scene about every 10 minutes. The people who made The New Seduction operate on the same principle, only instead of car chases and explosions, the curvaceous Jaime Pressly takes her clothes off and then, more likely than not, has sex with someone. If Seduction had been made 60 years ago at Warner Brothers, nobody would have gotten naked, but otherwise this gleefully trashy bit of film noir would have fit right in. The ...
|
|
|
Torque (P&S Dol Slip)
:Description:Biker Cary Ford (Martin Henderson) is in possession of several motorcycles belonging to a ruthless drug dealer. Now he's putting the squeeze on Ford in an attempt to retrieve the bikes, which have something a little more valuable than gas in their tanks. :A lot has changed in the biker-movie genre since Hell's Angels on Wheels, and Torque may be the new benchmark of feverish chopper action. Martin Henderson plays Cary, a speed king and relatively civilized outlaw with a knack for annoying everyone, including drug smugglers, the FBI, an ex-girlfriend, ...
|
|
|
Joe Dirt (Dol)
: :Another of those cut-and-paste comedies from Adam Sandler's production company starring one of Sandler's erstwhile Saturday Night Live colleagues, The Adventures of Joe Dirt finds the magnificently caustic David Spade emasculated by a sentimental script and shapeless, haphazard cutting. Spade plays the title character, a white-trash orphan in search of the parents who abandoned him at the Grand Canyon. The humor is supposed to come from Joe's misadventures, his redneck gullibility, and his encounters with such figures as a serial killer, a wacked-out janitor (Christopher Walken), and a lovable gal (Jamie ...
|
|
|
Ticker
: :Another of those cut-and-paste comedies from Adam Sandler's production company starring one of Sandler's erstwhile Saturday Night Live colleagues, The Adventures of Joe Dirt finds the magnificently caustic David Spade emasculated by a sentimental script and shapeless, haphazard cutting. Spade plays the title character, a white-trash orphan in search of the parents who abandoned him at the Grand Canyon. The humor is supposed to come from Joe's misadventures, his redneck gullibility, and his encounters with such figures as a serial killer, a wacked-out janitor (Christopher Walken), and a lovable gal (Jamie ...
|
|
|
Absolution
: :Another of those cut-and-paste comedies from Adam Sandler's production company starring one of Sandler's erstwhile Saturday Night Live colleagues, The Adventures of Joe Dirt finds the magnificently caustic David Spade emasculated by a sentimental script and shapeless, haphazard cutting. Spade plays the title character, a white-trash orphan in search of the parents who abandoned him at the Grand Canyon. The humor is supposed to come from Joe's misadventures, his redneck gullibility, and his encounters with such figures as a serial killer, a wacked-out janitor (Christopher Walken), and a lovable gal (Jamie ...
|
|